


I've Got You

by TheSkyIsActuallyTeal



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Kisses, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-01-17 10:47:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1384768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSkyIsActuallyTeal/pseuds/TheSkyIsActuallyTeal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Impala is gone for good and Dean's world crashes around him, all he's got left is Sam. But maybe Sam is all he really ever needed, (a bit of wincest)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Under a streetlamp

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a Wincest fic, so i've started off slow. Be gentle and suggestions are always welcome :)

     Dean turned the key in the ignition again, the engine sputtered but did not start. "Come on Baby don't do this to me now" he turned they key again. Nothing. "Shit"  Dean climbed out of the Impala and closed the door behind him. He opened the hood and peered underneath, Dean shrugged off his jacket and got to work. 

 

    Sam stepped out of the door of the dingy motel, and into the near empty parking lot that was littered with cigarette buts and beer bottle caps. He had his backpack slung over one shoulder and their green duffle on the other. He looked at Dean, black grease smudged all over his hands, and thought he'd never looked more beautiful.

" Whats up?" he asked,

Dean sighed and ran his hands through his hair leaving black smudges on his forehead," she won't start, must be something... i dunno, Sammy can you pass me that wrench over there." Sam stooped down and tossed the wrench to Dean,

"hey don't worry, you'll fix her" Dean grunted in resonse and fiddled with the wrench. Sam sat down on the crumbling concrete curb and looked at his brother. The afternoon sunlight made his close cropped hair look like spun gold, and lit up his shining green eyes. The warm air made Dean's thin cotton shirt stick to his torso, outlining the muscles that  lay there. Sam swallowed nervously, he almost never let himself look at Dean for so long, for fear of being caught. Sam almost couldn't help it now, he was being drawn in by the simple rugged beauty of his brother'sfeatures, the stubble on his chin, the sharp curve of his jaw... he could imagine trailing kisses along it on the way to Dean's perfect mouth..... _NO_  Sam shook his head.He was being stupid again, inuging himself in something that could never happen. He could never be with Dean, not in the way he wanted.

 

    Afternoon turned to evening, and evening turned to night. Dean lit a lamp and Sam's ass was going numb. Dean was growing more and more frustrated.No matter what he tried nothing seemed to work, he'd been out there for hours trying everything he could think of. Nothing had worked so far. Still he refused to give up. He'd decided that he wouldn't let her die, she was all he had left of John and more importantly, Mary. The Impala reminded Dean of a time before monstersand demons, and it gave him hope that such days might come again. This car had been his home for as long as he could remember, everything about her wasfamiliar, from the smell of metal and gunpowder to the way the worn leather seats had memorized the form of his body. Losing her was like losing a best friend,even worse, it was like losing family. He couldn't, he  _wouldn't_  let her die. So he worked, into the night, cleaning, re-adjusting, but no matter how much Dean tried toignore it, how much he tried to deny it, she was gone.  _Gone_.  _Gone._   _Gone._ Just _another failure to add to the pile._

 

Dean was shaking, at first Sam though he was imagining things, but his brother was definitely trembling. The light had fallen from his hand and he had his arms braced against the polished black frame. He was shaking, every muscle trembling in an effort to stay silent. It was awful to watch, the way his brother was weeping silently, trying so hard not to be heard, not to appear weak. Sam stood and took a step towards him,

"Dean."              

 Dean jumped slightly and wiped the tears from his face, he strained a laugh " oh Sammy hey, i guess we're gonna have to find another way to get around",

"Dean" Sam repeated, concern lacing his voice. Dean looked up at Sam, tears were welling in his eyes, shining in the dim light of the streetlamp,

"she's gone Sammy" he said, his voice breaking "she's gone and i couldn't save her"  Dean crumpled to the ground and buried his face in his hands, his sobs echoingthrough the deserted parking lot.

 

   Sam crouched down and put his arms around his brother, Dean buried himself in his broad chest and cried. Tears soaked through the thin flannel of his brother's shirt, and they sat like that, wrapped up in each other for a long time. Finally Sam drew away and cupped Dean's face gently, his eyes were red and swollen from the tears, and his expression was so painful it hurt Sam like a bullet to the heart. Sam brushed the tears away, and looked into Dean's eyes. He was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to kiss him, he looked so scared, he just wanted to make him happy again. Sam leaned in close, till he was swallowed up by those great big green eyes, and kissed his brother. Dean's lips were warm and soft, his tears salty, Sam could feel his brother's  surprise, but Dean didn't withdraw. He returned the kiss gratefully, parting his lips, exploring Sam's mouth with his tongue. Sam had never felt better in his life than he did right now, in front of a dingy Super 8, kissing his brother like the world was ending.


	2. Heat of The Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean feels guilty and Sam is determined to prove him otherwise...  
>  ( bow chika wow wow)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok first of all I'm really sorry it took so long to get this chapter out! I'm not gonna lie and say i was busy or anything i'm just very bad at finishing things so don't hate me.   
> Ok this is it  
> I'll give you a hint  
> they fondue ;)

    Warm sunlight filtered trough the dusty curtains and settled on Dean's sleeping face, the sudden brightness made his eyelids flutter briefly then open. Dean licked his lips and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He hadn't slept that well in ages, he felt warm tingly and not at all tired.   
   Dean looked lazily over to his left and almost jumped out of bed when he saw his brother next to him, sleeping soundly.   
 _Did we....... no_  Dean shook his head as the memories of last night filled his brain, images of kissing Sam under the flickering light of a street light, sleeping wrapped in the warmth of his arms.   
And the Impala  
Just the thought of her felt like a punch to the gut. That car was the last thing he has left of his father, his mother. Now, Sam really was all he had.  
Dean looked over at his brother, thoughts churning in his head.

   Sam kissed me, Sam kissed me, Sam kissed me, he kissed me, why did he kiss me? what have I done? What is he going to think, he's gonna hate me, he can't hate me.  nononononononononononono.

   Dean shut his eyes and tried to stop the wave of nausea passing over him. Hell he'd really fucked up this time. He opened his eyes and looked at Sam, a gentle smile was lingering on his sleeping lips.   
unless...  
   What if Sam wanted it too? Was it possible? Dean shook his head,   
no no Sam is the normal one. The one who went to collage got a girlfriend. You're the freak, the fucked up one. The one who wants your brother.   
Dean wanted Sam to want him, more than anything. He wanted all of Sam, to trace every inch of him with his lips. To run his hands through that beautiful brown hair. And to be completely honest, there was moments when Dean could give less of a flying crap that Sam was his brother.   
So what? Their family had never been normal, why start now?

   If he'd still had the impala, Dean would've gone for a drive to clear his head. Now he had no choice but to sit and think. Think about how many times he'd really screwed up with Sam, a depressing montauge of moments rolled through his head.

" _I don't believe in you"_

_"If i didn't know you, I'd want to hunt you"_

_"you're a freak"_

   The words ran through his head. Why would Sam want anything to do with him? He just keeps consistantly hurting him, over, and over, and over. The last thing someone like Sam deserves is him. 

   Despite what Sam says, Dean can see that these past two trials have seriously taken their toll on him. Sam looks so tired, and so much older now. Lines are forming around his bright eyes, his skin pale and sallow against his cheekbones. He was much thinner, no matter how much Dean did, Sam seemed to care very little about his own well being. He was completely obsessed with finishing these trials, and this worried Dean because Sam almost seemed like he was actually willing to die. And there was no way in heaven or hell he was gonna let that happen, no way.   
Dean took a deep breath and got up from the bed,  It should've been him, he should be the one suffering right now, not Sam.   
   He checked his phone to see if there was any new from Kevin, there wasn't.   
A loud groan came from the bed as Sam stretched himself awake. 

  
  "Good morning sunshine!" said Dean with a smile, Sam laughed and swung his long bare legs out from under the comforter.  
"what time is it?" he asked with a yawn, scratching absently at the stubble on his cheek.  
Dean gestured at the clock that hung on the wall.   
"almost noon"  
Sam nodded, "so how did you sleep?"   
Dean swallowed, this was what he'd been afraid of.   
"fine, you?"  
  Sam hesitated "good....about last night Dean, I.."  
Dean shrugged "its fine I get it, you didn't mean it, it was a heat of the moment thing, it's ok I understand you don't have to say anything, in fact ...."  
"Dean" Sam said but dean kept going  
"we don't have to talk about his again if..."   
"Dean!" Sam's urgent tone surprised his brother, and he stopped talking.  
"It's ok, I wanted to kiss you, you don't need to feel guilty"   
Sam's warm hazel eyes were full of a gentle kindness that showed he meant what he said, but this did nothing to loosed the awful twisting knot of anxiety writhing in Dean's stomach.  
"yeah?"   
"yes" Sam whispered, his voice lowered as he made his way over to Dean. "Just like I do right now...."  
   The kindness was all but gone from his eyes and replaced by something Dean had never seen in his brother's eyes. Lust.  
Sam took a step closer to him, Dean was determined to reject Sam, to launch into some speach about how it was best for the both of them to back out now. But the second Sam touched him he was lost.  
Their lips came together in a devastating crash of teeth and tounge. This kiss was completely different, it was hungry and desperate. They clawed and tore at eachother, getting closer and closer together with each movement.   
Until Sam broke away, and they looked at eachother, Dean never thought he'd looked more beautiful, than he did right there with his clothes disheveled his hair standing up and falling in his eyes and his lips bitten pink and swollen.   
Suddenly he smiled, because there was Sam, his  _everything_ , the only person he felt he was capable of loving, and for the first time Dean felt purely happy.   
Sam grinned slyly, and suddenly ran at Dean, surprising him and started to work on the layers of clothes separating them.   
  "Too many fucking shirts Sammy" muttered dean as he fumbled with the buttons on Sam's second flannel shirt, Sam laughed and pulled the shirt over his head.   
Dean smiled "that works"  
Sam slid his hands into the waistband of his brother's jeans, pulled him close and kissed him.   
Pretty soon they were pressed together on top of Dean's bed, clothes scattered and forgotten on the stained carpet of the motel room.   
Dean opened his eyes to meet Sam's in a gaze that could raze cities. They were like an inferno, raging and broiling, years of tension leading to this very moment, right here. Sam's warm hands found their way easily into the waistband of Dean's boxers. Sam's lips moved from his mouth and started to kiss their way down his brother's neck, Dean was practically shaking from the adrenaline that coursed through his veins in icy hot waves of pure arousal. Sam's lips were warm and soft as they moved down his body towards uncharted territory. Dean inhaled sharply as his brother's lips gently wrapped around him.   
Dean groaned as every worry, every fear and anxiety was instantly wiped from his mind, all replaced by one pure and simple thought.

**Sam**

   Somehow, from god knows where Sam produced a small bottle of lube. "why the hell are you carrying that around?" Dean asked in a slightly mocking tone  
Sam shot him a famous bitchface   
but his face had turned a particularity deep shade of crimson.   
"I ...um.."  
Dean laughed, "relax Sammy, I don't judge."   
For the first time that night Dean was far enough away that he could really appreciate how fucking gorgeous Sam was. Body lean and tanned from years of training and that torture he calls "jogging".   
A wide variety of pale scars covers nearly every inch of his little brother, and Dean knows the story behind every single one, hell he'd helped stitch most of them up.      His stupidly long hair fell across his bright eyes as he fumbled with the tiny bottle,  _give me five minutes and some clippers_ thought Dean to himself with a small smile, secretly he loved Sam's hair, and the way it caught the light, especially the way it felt clutched between his fingers.   
"You ready?"   
Sam's voice broke Dean out of his stupor.   
"born ready" he answered with a smirk.  
Sam put a hand on Deans hip, normally Dean would be incredibly irritated at Sam taking over like this, but right now it was just incredibly hot.   
Dean bit his lip as Sam slid one finger inside him, then two, pumping steadily each time pushing a little deeper with long strong fingers. Deans breath was coming out in short puffs, punctuated with Sam's name.  
  Dean whimpered when Sam took his fingers out, and his brother just laughed. "Hold on sparky, you'll get what you came for, promise."   
"shut up" muttered Dean  
"Love you too" whispered Sam with a tiny smile that Dean couldn't see, but he felt it in the way his brother said the words.   
Sam pushed in slowly, his breathing growing ragged, Dean closed his eyes and tried not to let out an incredibly embarrassing noise. The brothers rocked back and forth in unison, Moaning and gasping eachother's names until they both came, one after the other.   
Sam's head lay on Dean's chest, rising and falling with each breath he took. Dean tilted his head down and kissed Sam gently, the younger Winchester smiled.  
"I knew you'd be a bottom"  
Dean smacked him across the chest..   
"Bitch"  
and for the first time in too long the reply came easily to Sam's swollen lips.   
"Jerk"

**\---**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna probably go into the season 8 finale in the next ch. so prepare for some serious angst,  
> xoxo Meg.


	4. Let it go (I Love you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little behind the scenes of the season 8 finale

_"So?_ "  
The word seared through Dean like molten metal, peeling away his defenses and leaving him dumbfounded. Sam stood there, in the ruin of the old rotting church. Blood dripping from the gash on his trembling hand. And his little brother's hazel eyes were glazed with tears, and his skin was pale and taunt. He looked to small and so afraid and all Dean wanted to do was bring him close and hold him because he could see in those beautiful eyes, that Sam wanted to die. 

"You'll die Sammy" he said putting only too much emotion behind the words, enough to make Sam quake with despair. He looks up at his big brother, red rimmed eyes glazed with tears, voice thrumming with the unbearable pain radiating through him. 

"do you know what I confessed in there? what my greatest sin was? It was how many times let you down!"   
Dean felt his face warp in a strange mixture of surprise and dull horror. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but it was Sam who spoke.  
"who you gonna go to next time I can't be trusted?" he hissed "another angel? another  _vampire?"_ The words hit Dean like hornet stings in December,  ruthless, cold and completely unexpected. Sam's gaze finally locks with Dean's for the first time since he entered the church and Dean feels like Sam can see into him, and he licks his lips pensivley as he quickly looks away.   
"Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother..." Sam trails off but Dean doesn't need to hear the words to get the message, he reads loud and clear. And the dread soaks into his bones, how could Sam not see how much Dean loved him, how badly he needed him around.   
Finally green eyes meet Brown and Dean's voice echoes through the church " Don't say that to me" whispers Dean gently pleading "dont you say that." How the  _fuck_  could Sam possibly think that Dean didn't give a shit about him. Dean knew he wasn't all for touchy feely crap but  _seriously?_  He'd rather get dragged back down to hell if it meant Sam was ok. 

"I killed Benny to save you, I'm willing to let him and all of those evil sons of bitches who killed mom  _walk to save you. Don't you dare think that there is anything past or present that I would put in front of you!"_  Dean is deadly aware of the tremble in his voice now, "I need you to see that, I'm begging you."  
Sam is silent for a long time, looking first at Crowley sprawled on the wooden chair. Then at Dean standing over him. Dean who had bandaged up his scraped knees when he was seven and fell off his bike. Dean who always gave him the last of the lucky charms. Dean who'd given him his first beer, who'd stitched him up after his first hunt.  _His_ Dean. And somehow he knew that with Dean everything would be ok.

With that all of his resolve shattered and Sam took a gentle step towards his brother. "How do I stop?" he whispered. Relief washed over Dean in a similar fashion as horror had just moments ago. But more violently, it hit him like a landslide and filled his veins with cool lightning. He took Sam's butchered hand and lifted it gently, wrapping a cloth from his pocket gently around the wound.   
"Just let it go, and we'll figure it out, just like we always do"  
Sam shook his head violently 

"No no Dean you don't under stand its  _inside me_. you don't know what that's like" tears spilling onto his cheeks he pulled away. Dean surprised him completely and pulled him into a gentle hug. Sam grasped desperately at his brother, clutching his hands into the back of Dean's jacket, because Sam knew that this was the last time he was going to hug his brother, this was the end.

Dean brought Sam close to him, hands rubbing soothing circles into Sam's back. "Just let it go brother.' He breathed into his Sam's soft hair, his legs started to shake as he realised just how close he'd come to losing Sam forever. "I've got you this time I promise" said Dean trying hard to keep his voice from shaking "I promise".   
Sam suddenly pulled away with a sharp inhale of breath, but hos voice was cheerfull. "Dean look!" Dean pulled away and took Sam's hands into his own and watched as the terrifying glow left his brother's veins, Dean felt a twinge of guilt as he realised that this was supposed to be his cross to bear, he should be the one in pain right now not Sammy. "You see?" said Dean gently lifting his hand to cup Sam's cheek "everything's gonna be ok"  
Sam smiled gently and lowered his lips to meet Dean's gently and warmly. Just as Dean moved to deepen the kiss Sam pulled away violently and groaned in pain as he fell to the floor. Dean felt his heart drop as he grabbed at his brother. 

"Sammy? hey, hey hey." Dean lifted his brother onto his shoulder, struggling under his weight.  "I got you its gonna be ok, I'm gonna fix you up I promise" Deans words even sounded desperate to his own ears.   
They stumbled outside just as the first angels began to fall

     " It's gonna be ok, Sammy"

           "it's gonna be ok" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter done, who knows how many to go  
> please tell me what you guy thought.

**Author's Note:**

> I might continue depending how this does.  
> lots of love  
> \- Meg


End file.
